The work here is grounded in a developmental perspective rather than a clinical/pathologizing one, because midlife is in fact an actual stage of human development. This means it's not about diagnosing what's "wrong with you" but rather supporting you through the developmental tasks of this life stage.
Although it seems our culture assumes our development stops once we reach adulthood, it simply isn’t true. Well-known psychologists like Erik Erikson, Carl Jung and Daniel Levinson have created models of human development from infancy through old age, showing how we continue to grow and evolve until we die.
While varying somewhat, each of them describe midlife as a time of reflection, questioning, healing old wounds and searching for meaning and purpose.
So rather than feeling that there’s something desperately wrong with you or your life, I invite you to consider that you’re really OK, and to see Midlife as a reconnection point into the deep longings of the soul and spirit, rather than thinking, “well, it's all downhill from here”.
The overarching develomental task of midlife is about healing and wholing—about becoming who you are meant to be.
One beautiful and surprising key to the transformation process is that the "symptoms" of your midlife crisis you’re experiencing—boredom, agitation, irritability, moodiness, depression—are in fact trail markers, or sign posts, pointing to what is out of balance, out of alignment, and in need of healing.
The journey is about sifting and sorting through the stories, personas, roles and coping strategies you’ve accumulated over the years, harvesting what is true and useful and releasing what no longer serves you.
It’s about reclaiming the lost, hidden and damaged parts of yourself and discerning what you most want from your life.
It's about transmuting all the baggage you’ve been carrying into purpose and vitality.
It’s about healing your heart and your soul.
And all those issues and symptoms that brought you here… they are the map you need for your journey.
Midlife is intended to be a time to step back.
It’s the time when you’re meant to review the wisdom you’ve spent a lifetime gathering and coalesce it into your life’s manifesto, the foundation upon which you will create your life of deep meaning, fulfillment, and contentment.
I call this process your Midlife Soulwork, a sacred journey that requires time and space.
And I hate to say it, but your Midlife Soulwork is not something that can be accomplished in a weekend.
Sorry, not sorry.
All that sifting, sorting, discerning, healing, and wholing… it takes time.
It is literally the work of a lifetime.
At its essence, at midlife you are being asked to take a Sacred Pause: time and space for you to attend to your own needs, to mend your heart, and explore your heart and soul.
It’s not easy to do, but it is essential to navigating this journey.
I hope you now see that you’re not too late to create a life that both fits and fulfills you.
In fact, you’re right on time.
I believe that the journey can be easier when you have compassionate guidance to lean on, more efficient when you have a proven structure to lean into, and way more fun with a community to support you along the way.
The best way to get oriented, get support, and enjoy the company of other women like you is to become part of the Midlife Evolutionaries community. Membership is free, and you get to choose your level of interaction.
No flood of emails coming to your inbox (although I do send something occassionally), no ads, no social media rabbit holes to get lost in. Just women seeking to make the most of their lives and find community and support for the midlife journey.
© 2021, Midlife-Evolution.com