09 April
Julie Henderson
I had a huge a-ah early this year during a training in which the speaker mentioned a coach who worked with my same audience, midlife women, supporting them to “age gracefully”.
I had an immediate physical response…
Not the panicked, “Oh no, somebody is already doing what I do, I'm too late" response I often have in these situations.
No, it was a visceral, emphatic voice inside me that said:
“I am not remotely interested in helping women age gracefully. I want to help women age fiercely!”
I felt like I'd been struck by lightning, such was the clarity of that voice.
In fairness, I have no idea what this other woman means by aging gracefully. I’m sure it’s lovely, powerful work. But since this happened I’ve thought long and hard about what I mean by “Aging Fiercely” for myself and the women I want to work with — as well as what I don’t mean.
What I don’t mean is denying the fact that I’m getting older and trying to be seen as still 40-something.
What I don’t mean is fighting my age in any way that involves pushing, forcing, faking, overdoing or stress. (perhaps this counts as “aging gracefully”?)
But it doesn’t end there, because neither is it a passive obedience to what society tells us older women should be like.
Aging Fiercely requires us to overcome our own resistance to getting older — after all, resistance is futile ;-)
It means determination to overcome all the social programming we have been raised with about the value of midlife and older women.
It means we face our fears and experience everything this bittersweet, brutiful (thank you Glennon Doyle: brutiful= brutal + beautiful) life has to offer by feeling it all.
It means growing up in the most profound way, and taking full responsibility for every aspect of our lives.
We stop playing small.
We stop pretending we have all the time left in the world, and we get about the business of becoming the wise women, empowered elders and conscious crones that the world so desperately needs.
Of course Aging Fiercely will look a little different for every woman, since we all have different fears, different things we’ve avoided confronting, and we all have our own gifts and our own unique purpose for being alive at this particular moment in time.
And that’s where my purpose comes in: I’m here to walk with the women who feel called to this journey of Fierce Aging, to support them through the hard parts and preserve the highest vision for their life until they can claim it for themselves.
- Women who aspire to embrace the reality and potential of midlife and aging.
- Women who long to find their way into their wise woman/elder self yet feel frustrated by battling through the social and cultural baggage and the overwhelmingly negative assumptions and images of older women in today's society.
- Women who sense that there must be something more, and don’t want to spend another minute misaligned with or disconnected from their essence and their power.
Here’s my perspective in a nutshell:
Your “midlife crisis”, however that is showing up for you—is an invitation to step into your purpose. To become the person you were always meant to be.
It’s an invitation to:
- Re-story your herstory
- Heal your wounds
- Claim your gifts
- Connect to your purpose
- Create your fulfilling, meaning-making life
So I'm curious, how does aging fiercely resonate for you? What would it look like for you?